Deceptively Manipulative Phrases
And where to find them.
Whenever I scroll LinkedIn or X (RIP Twitter), I often leave with a sense of unease, like I don’t stack up to my peers, like there’s something the global consciousness understands that I don’t—that I’m an utterly pathetic loser for not knowing [insert obvious thing].
Why is this? Why do these platforms make me feel so inadequate?
It’s not because I’m an inherent dummy (at least I hope not) or some conspiratorial social media kabal of techno-bros trying to spread fear (although that’s closer to the truth). From what I can decipher, this post-scrolling malaise occurs for a far less interesting and uncoordinated reason.
It’s because these sites are loaded with deceptively manipulative phrases.
You know the type:
"Top performers always..."
"If you're not doing [X], you're missing out!"
"True leaders know that..."
These phrases are intended to make you feel deficient, and in creating that sense of inadequacy, compel you to click on the post, read the entire driveling thing, and buy the poster’s product so you can be powerful and whole once again.
And the algorithms love this stuff. The more deceptively manipulative the post, the more clicks; the more clicks, the more the post is amplified in the feed. It’s a flywheel of deception.
These deceptively manipulative phrases are so persuasive because they frame arguments in ways that appear reasonable or emotionally compelling while subtly steering the dialogue. They often leverage social proof, authority, and FOMO to drive engagement and ultimately, get you to buy things.
This isn’t a new phenomenon. Advertisers have been leveraging deceptively manipulative phrases for ages, but I’d argue it’s a much different (and more insidious) experience when your ex-colleague Doug is dropping a deceptively manipulative phrase in his post vs. Coca-Cola. We’re already primed to not trust soda conglomerates (although we often forget to); we’re not primed to distrust every quasi-coherent person in our social feeds.
So how can we combat this?
The first step is to recognize deceptively manipulative phrases. The next step is to ignore whatever comes after them and remind yourself you are not missing out on anything. Anyone who posts a deceptively manipulative phrase is not to be trusted. They are trying to manipulate you.
To help you combat the minefield of deceptively manipulative phrases on your social feeds, I’ve compiled a list of the most common ones I see. My hope is it can serve as a touchstone for you while scrolling.
List of Deceptively Manipulative Phrases
"Top performers always..."
Implies that to be successful, you must follow the suggested behavior.
Example: "Top performers always network extensively. Are you doing the same?"
"If you're not doing [X], you're missing out!"
Creates a sense of urgency and FOMO.
Example: "If you're not leveraging AI in your business, you're missing out!"
"True leaders know that..."
Suggests a disagreement with the statement indicates a lack of leadership.
Example: "True leaders know that continuous learning is the key to success."
"Successful people understand..."
Implies success is tied to the specific advice given.
Example: "Successful people understand the importance of personal branding."
"Here's the secret that [industry] professionals don't want you to know..."
Creates FOMO and suggests insider knowledge.
Example: "Here's the secret that top marketing professionals don't want you to know: content is king."
"Don't settle for less than..."
Implies anything less than the advised standard is inadequate.
Example: "Don't settle for less than a job that values your unique skills."
"If you're serious about [goal], you'll..."
Questions your commitment or seriousness.
Example: "If you're serious about advancing your career, you'll invest in professional coaching."
"Everyone's talking about..."
Implies widespread discussion and popularity to create social pressure.
Example: "Everyone's talking about the new productivity hack. Are you using it?"
"It's clear that..."
Asserts an opinion as if it's an established fact.
Example: "It's clear that remote work is the future of business."
"Only [type of person] would disagree..."
Dismisses opposing views by attacking your character.
Example: "Only someone who doesn't understand the market would disagree with this strategy."
"You must [action] to succeed!"
States an action as essential for success.
Example: "You must build a strong online presence to succeed in today's market!"
"If you're not [action], you're doing it wrong."
Creates a dichotomy where only one approach is correct.
Example: "If you're not using social media to grow your brand, you're doing it wrong."
I plan to revisit this list every few months and add more deceptively manipulative phrases I come across in my feeds. Am I missing any? Let me know in the comments. Good luck out there!